They say that life begins at forty. May be that’s true, but everything else starts to wear out or fall out. Why, I’m still too young to consider that, but God knows why, I feel like getting older than my age. Premature..err..ageing?

So you ask what evidence? Mere faazil dost..there are three signs of old age. The first is loss of memory, the other two..I forget. The case is not so serious though like some of my other friends who sometimes find themselves on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether they were on their way up or way down.

So what does a married man like me who took to his heel from his 6 years young ‘illustrious’ sales career grunting over in IT with colleagues fit to address him ‘uncle’. Uncle sam? Or the temptation to surf the Net (that ultimately lets you gain so much weight, because at almost every site they give you a “Cookie”) or was it the inability to decide regarding ‘com’ or zyada. The decision to jump in the IT-bandwagon, clever or not, apna raam thinks with Rayben clarity that philhaal work is a lot less fun-and fun is a lot more work (so now you know folks why I did a bunk from parties and never even stroll in the vicinity of Basketball stadium). Imman se, is umra main caution is the only thing I care to exercise.

Still people envy me? I could smell that! They feel that girls flock me. Trust this bhaisaab, one should start realizing that he is getting older when the girls at the office started confiding in him. And you thought.. shiv..shiv..shiv..

So back to the issue of me feeling that I have arrived the stage of taking longer to rest than to get tired. Boss, it’s been ages when I stopped growing at both ends (and begun to grow in the middle). Frankly I never have had this choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get me home earlier. But you know which one I would have chosen. Reason perhaps, half of the guys who shake hand with me in morning will complain “Arre tu itna dheela kyon rehta hai yaar?”

May God forgive the nadaans for the folly of not their own because even I wake up with that morning-after feeling, while I didn’t do anything the night before. So that’s it guys! It’s a pity you are compelled to cope up with a veteran. But remember even Microsoft gives DOS with windows. When you can have faith in India winning a gold in next Olympics at least I can expect a bit for me..as for now please note that tomorrow I may be late because meri kamar mein dard hai..Ouch..

Abbreviations (abbs) were invented as essential AIDS to memory and their application surfaced as equally contagious as the capitalized word; memory-aid that has to be mugged up to successfully clear any GK test. Many, if not most, of the abbs are funny or at least can be given a witty bend, which ironically may also be their true face.

In earlier times abbs were the hallmarks for cherished degrees – BA, BSc, M.A, MSc, LLB… And no body perhaps expected that the newborn MBAs from IIMs would steal the limelight from the formidable PhDs and IITs so much so that even the ordinary bosses metamorphosed in to CEOs and COOs. Incidently the PhDs were the people with solemn looks and thick lenses on their noses because all their life they Patiently Hoping for a Degree and had no energy left to recoil with josh when they were Phinally Done. It’s another thing that the most coveted three letter word still remain as IAS, though the buzurgs could hardly locate the halo that surrounded its predecessor – with the middle component as ‘Civil’ instead of ‘Administrative’, reminiscent of the Indian Cancer Society. Sad indeed for the Indian Forest Services and the Indian Foreign Services, who had to settle down for the common IFS.

Abbs could have brought ease to the public works department after it became PWD but for the people, who find the more notorious name of Public Wastes Department easy to remember. The DMs and the DCs took a cue from this and acquired a credo of Don’t Mingle with the public and then Don’t Care for them too. VIPs gained more limelight as VVIPs and then shied away as ZVIPs. Post-tehelka, PMO’s doctrine appeared to be “Pehle Maal phir Office ka kaam”.

Americans are infamous abbs enthusiast. A laudable World Wildlife Fund has been reduced to World Wrestling Federation. You have the US of A, NASA, NATO and the toe licking UNO, UNICEF and WHO knows what not. Their FBI simply became Feds perhaps protesting against their over-exposure in Hollywood movies. Our own RAW is no match for ISI and even though the institution has been re-christened the Bureau of Indian Standards, most people want the ISI-approved products.

Speaking of demand, think of the time people acquired cardio-vascular ailments or did the P.C.Sorkar trick if you mentioned IT raids. Strange times I tell you, the same people talk about jumping into the IT bandwagon now. Simple earthly desire, this? Chanakya, backed up by his erudition from HTML to WML, from SAP to WAP to SOAP, from EJB to CORBA, and armed with colossal MCP, MCSE & SCJP certifications, simply wants to go phoren and turn out to be chunki, not mentioning the neighborhood Manakya who would better not go for a similar feat. The guy OTOH would rather be J using the net-abbs in the chat forums.

Brain drain was bye-product of the angrez education system, realized the swadeshis. By introducing the lessons of Socially Useful Productive Work, SUPW they wanted us to transform into Anna Hazare ASAP. Students, bunking the classes to see a HAHK, DDLJ, DTPH and the more recent KNPH with their GFs, however thought differently. To them these sessions remained Some Useful Periods Wasted. In colleges doing a bunk have become, the more sophisticated, GT. Here, the preparation for GK test helps during ragging when it would be a KLPD you couldn’t expand on the newly acquired geographical wisdom on JAPAN and HP.

Finally, not all abbs are enduring happy anecdotes to bring smile to a face. A bad ECG, DD’s newscasts, the mighty-September 11-fall of the twin towers of WTC, FM’s budget proposals, MPEB’s bills and the thinning index at BSE and NASDAQ are bound to cause dropped jaws.

The fact is: these sermons are so hefty and impractical, you may probably never be able to practice what they preach. In fact, they almost always tell you to become perfect beings. IMHO, their books wouldn’t have any misprints if the world were so perfect.

On the contrary, this book that I read recently, seemed different. It’s very unlike those books with sermons. “Stop doing things that hurt, ignore what authority figures tell you and…practice, practice, practice.”Can you imagine such gem of thoughts coming out of 3 jokes that Uncle Shecky tells Ben. Well this is what “The Big Moo” is all about. It’s a book that’s edited by Seth Godin, a compilation of the experiences of 33 people (with names such as Malcolm Gladwell and Guy Kawasaki). But the real highlight of the book, as the tagline says, is that it doesn’t tell you to be “perfect” or something, instead it tells you how you or your organization can become remarkable. The anecdotes and observations tell you how people have just done simple things to remarkabilize their organizations, their lives and their career.

Amongst the many things that I liked in this book is that it’s concise and the articles are crisp, focused and unattributed. You can pick the book and practically start at any page, which is a boon for people like me who hate long mind-numbing chapters and long sittings. The book really dares you to take risks in life and ignore your critics, which is good probably for professionals and organizations alike and shows that good advice can really come from anyone. Picture an advice from a sex-therapist’s coming handy for a marketing company.

All in all, an astoundingly good book for which I must thank Seth, also for the 3 copies of the book he donated to the winners of Indibloggies (and that actually gave me the opportunity to read the book). Proceeds from the book’s sale go to charity so do buy a copy, if you can.

And lastly, an excerpt from the book that I liked immensely, it’s titled ‘What exactly are you afraid of?”

What exactly are you afraid of? Here is a list. You pick:

• Getting yelled at by the boss
• Getting fired
• Not getting promoted
• Doing the wrong thing
• Getting caught using the copy machine after hours
• Not knowing the right answer

Here’s the big news. If your strategy is to lie low, do your job, follow instructions, and hope that nobody notices you, (a) nobody will ever notice you, and (b) you’re actually increasing the chances of something bad happening.

If on then other hand you develop a reputation as the person who is always pushing the envelop, challenging the organization to go to next level and getting your influence to get good stuff done you’ve got the worlds best job security.

You can’t shrink your way to greatness.

Web logs are the prized platform of an online lynch mob spouting liberty but spewing lies, libel and invective. Their potent allies in this pursuit include Google and Yahoo.

[Via]

I was recently startled to see my geocities sites shrunken to almost 70% of their existence with the hitherto popup Yahoo adverstiments proudly proclaiming the rest of the space. No, there is no X button around to close them. It gave an indication about Yahoo's lost interest in the static pages containing family pictures and recipes. Yahoo 360 degrees proves this apprehension. With Yahoo foraying into the blogging scene, I am unable to comprehend which way it is heading on to. Like Bubbler here too the USP is usage of all kinds of media and sharing them with friends, family and acquaintance. Blogger's individual space is going to be stalked soon.

Update: I think I overlooked that Yahoo does provide the option to shrink, if not close, the advertisement panes at geocities.

All my sites have been abused by people trying to transfer money to Pakistan, people like scientology publishing posts for gathering funds in the pretext of tsunami relief etc… and not to forget me being 'branded'

all this and more from Rohan Pinto, the copycat in limelight who confesses thanks to an “angelic” call he got.

Translated, that means: nominations for the 39th mela are open and may be submitted using the comments area for this post. If you go by rules, they have been quoted by last host Yazad here. You can nominate posts (including your own) made between December 2 and 8, 2003. The mela will be hosted here on Tuesday, December 9, 2003. Looking forward to your nominations!

Update: Wait, wait, wait…in the fury of the moment I got carried away and did not notice the post dates. It seems the lady here stole her post dated Jan 12, 2005 from Rohan's post published Feb 10, 2004. While I take back my utterings, I cannot help wonder on this. There is no dearth of copycats and this seems a case of copying from the copycat?

Honestly, I find such moves fairly stupid. The only plus it seems to offer (for people accustomed to reading online) is the keyword search. Now, with Google news, that hunts on headlines from news papers all over, even that is an overhead. IMHO, for the rustic feel there is no substitute to the print medium. As I have to leave early for work, I miss my morning skimming but I always compensate it with a cozy evening read, even though I subscribe to various newsfeeds. Also, as far as I know, a similar venture of the India Today group never saw the light of the day.